am i having a thrisis

When I blew my thirtieth candle, it was like my eyes suddenly opened and I started seeing things differently to the way I had always been viewing them. For those that were there on my thirtieth birthday celebration, I must have been the happiest person to turn thirty they knew. If anyone had just taken a closer look, they would have seen that somewhere behind my smile I was going through personal emotional turmoil, questioning the very essence of my existence and purpose in life. A lot of things about my present life seemed meaningless and I was overwhelmed by a sense of regret and feeling as though it was too late to change my present situation.

I had slept an accountant ready to balance books and when I woke up someone else had taken over my body and that person kept taking me back to the past decade, tweaking a few decisions here and there and bringing me back to a future of what I could have been had things been different. “Is this where I am supposed to be?”, “Is this where I want to be?” I was asking myself.

Yes I had a great Job, beautiful kids, oh yes and was happily married to my Knight in shining armor but was that all there was to it? Had I done enough?

It was after months of all this questioning that I came across the word thrisis, and as I read about it further everything seemed to start making sense. A thrisis is defined as a thirties crisis where a sufferer looks back to years past with a sense of regret, feeling as though the best years are over and it’s too late. Was this what was going on with me? Had I been wrecking my brain thinking I am going insane when it could just be a phase some of us thirty somethings go through?

The answer was I probably was and as I thought about it more and more I realized that this thrisis phenomenon kind of made sense but what is it about being in your thirties or turning thirty that makes people see things differently? Has anyone or is anyone in that space in their lives at the moment? Have you all of a sudden started saying YOLO (You Only Live Once) more often than before because you feel time is running out? Tell me about it and catch the follow up to Thrisis in my next article.

@makanakam